Stand up comedian - improviser - writer
  • Things I Exclaimed At The Great British Bake Off 2018 - Week 1: Biscuits

    Wed 29 Aug 2018  ·  4:42AM
    Ok, I'm back. I took last year off to see if it felt the same on Channel 4, but as soon as it started this year I discovered I had comments to make. And so, I semi-proudly present the first edition of: THINGS I EXCLAIMED AT THE GREAT BRITISH BAKE OFF 2018!
    WEEK ONE - BISCUITS
    • I'm not on board with Paul Hollywood having a full beard.
    • At least that's not the weirdest facial hair in the tent, though...
    • Bake Off is back, and immediately trolls the Daily Mail, by announcing "Welcome to The Great British Bake Off" and then immediately having somebody [who I now know to be Manon] speaking in a foreign language.
    • Why is Prue wearing a collection of clothes pegs as a necklace?
    • Basic rule of Bake-Off: If they show footage of your family on week one, you're probably not going to be in the competition for long.
    • Oh! Apparently they're all going home because they've shown all of their families... NEW RULES PLEASE!
    • "Karen is a product promoter at a local supermarket" ...C'mon Channel 4, it's blatantly Asda; you can say it - anybody would recognise that branding!
    • Is it just me, or is Anthony an absolute dreamboat?
    • Wait. People home bake Wagon Wheels?! But... you can buy them?! Famously so. They're... they're called Wagon Wheels....
    • BAKE OFF FACT: Paul's Wagon Wheels are not as big as they used to be.
    • If you told me Terry was Kim-Joy's Dad, I'd believe you. 
    • Have Noel and Sandi had their hair done by the stylist who worked on Hook?
    • The sample image of Terry's biscuit selfie appears to depict Lenin.
    • Ruby wins this year's award for "first person to have stress-induced flour both on her face & in her hair".
    • In fairness, the final version of Terry's biscuit selfie also appears to depict Lenin. Marks for consistency.
    And we're off. Manon seems like an early front-runner, but I wouldn't put it past Ruby to come back when she's more settled in (she's getting a lot of screen time for someone who's going home early). Who's your money on at this early stage? Let me know via facebook/twitter.